Friday, July 4, 2008

A yearning

It's one of those days again...the ones where my pulse races for some yearning that I cannot put a finger on. The days when I feel so utterly dissatisfied with what I have that I just want to abandon everything and run, run, run.

I feel like I am searching for something and I don't know what it is. And it would be okay to just leave everything and go because I know that I would come back eventually. I know that I am encapsulated in so much love that I can go without any weight of guilt.

Like what they say, if you love somebody, set them free. It is intrinsic in me. That when I am comforted with love, when I know that I am absolutely, unconditionally loved, I am able to rise above everything else and just be me. Do what I instinctively feel like doing. Without feeling like I betrayed anyone.

It's like love is the background music that accompanies me throughout the day. Sometimes you hardly notice it but you are comforted that it's there anyway. Regardless.

Like the moon left on all night.

Maybe I was born for bigger things. For higher achievements. For nobler deeds. Some days I want to be bigger and better. But most of the time, I know my place. I am a wife, a mother, a companion.

But sometimes, on days like these, I wish for more. It doesn't help that Coldplay is playing in my head. That Bella and Edward are on my mind all the time. It seems like I'm obsessed. But it shall pass. I know that for certain.

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