The Letter Writer

Work sucks at the moment. I was driving home last Friday evening and all the accumulated frustrations and disappointments of doing ad-hoc writing assignments hit me as I was making the turn into my housing area.

I can honestly get lost -- in a nice, addictive kind of way -- in my writings. I enjoy crafting a sentence, finding just the right word to embody a feeling, reflecting on the subtle nuances that each word lends to the entire sentence. Nobody else cares though. People at the office just want the work done as proof to the Big Boss up there that "Hey, look...see...this is proof that we have done our job to publicise your megalomaniacal dreams!"...Next!

I wish I could say that I derive great satisfaction from my job. Sadly that's not the case. I am Miss Emergency...whenever there's a last minute job to be done, I am called to the scene. Maybe I am getting good at doing things fast. Credit that to being a woman, a wife, a mom, a writer and everything else in between. With all these roles, you just gotta learn to make full use of your time and breeze through everything.

I've always been a conscientious worker so for me to be callous about my job these days is pretty unsettling. It's just not me. But then, I think of all the other roles that I am, as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and I am reminded that I am appreciated more in those roles and within those social and family spheres. I'm better off investing my heart and soul in those people than at work.

I hate to make this place as a ranting hole. So I'll just stop here. Yup, this is just to say that I wish I could spend my time doing meaningful writing work...I still harbour that dream of being the Letter Writer in a modern age of truncated text messages.