Sombre

The mood this week is pretty sombre.

Firstly, my cousin, Tab, is barely holding on to life as he lies perfectly still in ICU. One by one, his internal organs are failing him until he has to be kept on life support for now. His once stocky, stout body is now a dead weight on the bed. His face is bandaged to keep the blood from oozing out. The doctors told us to prepare for the worst.

Every single minute of the day, Kak Yati, his life partner stands by him. I don't know how she's taking it -- knowing that there are just days left for her and her husband. Knowing that the inevitable will happen. I don't know what her internal dialog is but I can imagine all the kinds of thoughts crowding her head. Or maybe not. Maybe she just feels numb.

Her daughter, whom I'm very close to, is a skinny shadow of her former self. We hugged and cried in the ICU. She had been there for too many hours, and perhaps because of it, felt some relief to leave the ICU behind, if only for a few minutes to take her lunch with me.

I left with a heavy heart and the image I couldn't shake off from that afternoon's hospital visit was of Adik, the prodigal son, putting his face so close to his dad's, and looking at his old man with a kind of longing look, as though waiting for his father to miraculously open his eyes and smile.

The second piece of news that is disturbing me is the one that's made it on all the front pages of our major newspapers. My boss was arrested by the ACA on Wednesday morning. We all certainly feel the loss. I have worked closely with him in the past few years -- on sales missions overseas, attended interviews and press conferences with him, wrote his speeches and letters, etc. He is a fine leader who knows the industry inside and out like the back of his hand. He rose through the rank and file and can summon any piece of information regarding the industry from as far back as 20, 30 years ago as though it were etched in his brain.

Things are topsy turvy these days. Again, it's like the juggler has missed some balls and they're all crashing down to the floor.

Listening to Muse. Time is running out. How appropriate.